Sunday, November 1, 2009

One Bad Apple...

I was listening to a car show today....geek for a gal, I know...but see, it's my talk radio channel and its the only thing on and if I turn it to the Christian channel, there's a 'hacking preacher' on at that time and I can't - just can't, listen to that. And besides, I don't mind, I kind of like it!

See, I grew up around cars and I picked up some things and well, God didn't give me five boys for nothing, ya know? It helps me stay in the know so I can always have something to tell them about! You know- "hey, did you hear about the new features on the new...?"(That way I always look super smart and super cool! ;)

For the record, it was me who taught the boys; "no, that's a Camaro", "ewww, would you look at that Jag", "that's like a 60 something model" etc. ..and I was able to tell them some things under the hood like; "that's the radiator", "that's the distributor", "that's the battery and if your car won't start you always need to check these first to make sure you have a good connection", etc. You know, all that geek stuff!

Ok, back off the rabbit trail-- On this program he was talking about being in Germany. He had made friends with some fellows there as they were all involved in the latest in auto-motives. He said these Germans were going to come here for a visit to learn things and had invited him back, etc.

I was listening thinking- what a small world we live in now! Isn't it something how we can get along with the Germans, the French, the Brits, etc? Everyone seems to have the capacity to get along and share and glean from one another---except that Ahmadinejad! Why does there have to be one big bad rotten apple? He spoils it all! (Not that he really is the only one- just making a point- keep reading...:)

It only takes ONE-
One person to cause unrest. One person to break the peace. One person to start a war. One person to disrupt a class. One person to cause a commotion in a store. One person- ONE- to disrupt the harmony in a home!

One child can do this, just ONE.

I have seen first hand how one child, with a bad attitude, can ruin everything for everyone in a home. You know how this works- Dad wants to take everyone to the park, everyone gets excited- then one kid- just ONE, says those magic naughty words "I don't want to". Mom makes a new dish at supper and she's worked real hard (and she has the flour on her dress to prove it) and everyone is excited about this new dish and eats it up and is happy and excited and then one-just ONE, says those magic words "I don't like it". One child encourages everyone to play a game. All the kids are excited and gathering things together to play and then one-just ONE, says those magic words "I don't like this game".

My dd and I like to watch the old 'I Love Lucy' shows from time to time. Last night we watched one where Lucy was pregnant and Ricky was so excited and making on over the baby and trying to take care of Lucy....then Lucy (being Lucy) turns on a dime and says "he doesn't love me, he only loves the baby''. So poor Ricky bends over backwards to assure her of his love for her; takes her to dinner and dancing, etc. Then Lucy (being Lucy) starts that famous 'aaaaah' cry of hers and when asked what's wrong she says 'you haven't mentioned the baby all night'.

As adults, I think we often believe we are above this- but I'm not! How 'bout you?

We have the maturity to feel things but not act on them.

But children-
Children have to be taught this tough lesson. It does not come natural! (I remember being young and dumb and thinking that it would..ha!)

I have found that story books and taking time for 'lessons in life' have been one of the best ways to deal with this. No one is pinpointed at the time and often it is a good opportunity for the Holy Spirit to speak to their heart. It can take away the defensiveness that we can automatically feel and help the child to see "that isn't good is it?"

Storybooks are good for this, but often I have to do a Bible study of my own and even go so far as to print up mini-lessons for these types of things. It is well-worth the trouble!

It needs to be noted too, that often a little slight of this can be over-looked. May I be blunt here and say that it is often one child, often a teenager, who will have just enough of a bad attitude- that the other children will be prone to a grumpiness and grumbling of sorts and not even know why?!?!?

As mothers, we have to stay on guard and 'nip it' as Barney Fife says. We often have to make mental notes to ourselves to stay on top of a certain behavior so our busyness doesn't side track us. It is hard work.

There are times when we may have to ask our husbands how to deal with certain things because we may not know exactly how to correct a behavior. Sometimes it is as simple as "don't act like that'' or "you are not allowed to be grumpy for no reason"; but other times it may be something a mother feels and senses but may not be so obvious.

Do ask, do seek, do act, do something! :-)
We can correct the outside but sometimes we must beg for God to deal with their hearts!
He can also give us wisdom and guidance on how to reach their hearts.

One bad apple-
Hmmm- let's work to get those bad spots out! :-)


  1. AWESOME POST!!!!!

    Thank you for visiting my blog.


  2. Thank U Miss Connie- I haven't read this in a long time myself! I needed the refresher!
    You're a blessing!

  3. What a great post! I can relate to everything you've said...especially after raising two boys. It's amazing what a Mother learns in order to keep up with what they are into. When I see a Pony Car, and still Oooh and Awww about, our daughter looks at me as if I have two heads. The older the boys get, it doesn't change, there are new things to of course, it's the technology.

    You really hit the nail on the head about it taking one person to spoil it all..and well put. Children must be taught the difference, as adults, we still struggle with it. And wasn't that just like Lucy to turn on a dime?! She had a perfect way of targeting our human downfalls and putting them before us so that they had to be addressed.

    How long I struggled before turning to God for answers. Now, I'll drop to my knees in a heartbeat and what a difference it makes. Go to the source, always.

  4. Thank you Sharon. You made so many more good points!