Thursday, October 1, 2009

Headlines from 2029 :-)


THE YEAR: 2029

Ozone created by electric

cars now killing millions

in the seventh largest country

in the world, Mexifornia,

formerly known as

California .

White minorities still

trying to have English

recognized as Mexifornia's

third language.

Spotted Owl plague

threatens northwestern

United States crops and


Baby conceived naturally!

Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to

reinstate heterosexual


France pleads for global

help after being taken over

by Jamaica .

No other country comes for

ward to help the beleaguered


Castro finally dies at age 112;

Cuban cigars can now be

imported legally,

but President Chelsea Clinton

has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he

will run for President

in 2036.

Postal Service raises

price of first class stamp

to $17.89 and reduces mail

delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year $75.8 billion

study: Diet and exercise

is the key to weight


Average weight of

Americans drops to

250 lbs.

Global cooling blamed

for citrus crop failure

for third consecutive year

in Mexifornia and


Abortion clinics now

available in

High School in

United States.

Senate still blocking

drilling in ANWR even

though gas is selling

for 4532 Pesos per

liter and gas stations

are only open on

Tuesdays and Fridays.


executes last

remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules

punishment of criminals

violates their civil


Average height of NBA

players is now nine feet,

seven inches.

New federal law requires

that all nail clippers,

screwdrivers, fly swatters

and rolled-up newspapers

must be registered by

January 2030.

IRS sets lowest tax rate

at 75 percent.

Floruba voters still having

trouble with voting machines.

Now, send this to whomever

you want and as many as

you want, then, guess


NOTHING will happen.

No miracles, no money,

absolutely nothing, except

you might make someone

smile or very, very


I Love This Country!

It's The Government That

Scares Me!


  1. I wasn't sure if I should laugh or cry. A few of them sounded a little bit too possible for comfort.

  2. I got it in an email and I thought it was funny, and thought-provoking- but yes, SAD----
    and certainly "do-able" in our modern world!