Headlines from 2029 :-)

HEADLINES FROM

THE YEAR: 2029


Ozone created by electric

cars now killing millions

in the seventh largest country

in the world, Mexifornia,

formerly known as

California .


White minorities still

trying to have English

recognized as Mexifornia's

third language.


Spotted Owl plague

threatens northwestern

United States crops and

livestock.


Baby conceived naturally!

Scientists stumped.



Couple petitions court to

reinstate heterosexual

marriage.


France pleads for global

help after being taken over

by Jamaica .


No other country comes for

ward to help the beleaguered

nation!


Castro finally dies at age 112;

Cuban cigars can now be

imported legally,

but President Chelsea Clinton

has banned all smoking.


George Z. Bush says he

will run for President

in 2036.



Postal Service raises

price of first class stamp

to $17.89 and reduces mail

delivery to Wednesdays only.



85-year $75.8 billion

study: Diet and exercise

is the key to weight

loss.


Average weight of

Americans drops to

250 lbs.


Global cooling blamed

for citrus crop failure

for third consecutive year

in Mexifornia and

Floruba.


Abortion clinics now

available in

every
High School in

United States.


Senate still blocking

drilling in ANWR even

though gas is selling

for 4532 Pesos per

liter and gas stations

are only open on

Tuesdays and Fridays.


Massachusetts

executes last

remaining conservative.


Supreme Court rules

punishment of criminals

violates their civil

rights.


Average height of NBA

players is now nine feet,

seven inches.


New federal law requires

that all nail clippers,

screwdrivers, fly swatters



and rolled-up newspapers

must be registered by

January 2030.

IRS sets lowest tax rate

at 75 percent.


Floruba voters still having

trouble with voting machines.

Now, send this to whomever

you want and as many as

you want, then, guess

what....

NOTHING will happen.

No miracles, no money,

absolutely nothing, except

you might make someone

smile or very, very

scared.



I Love This Country!

It's The Government That

Scares Me!