I was listening to a car show today....geek for a gal, I know...but see, it's my talk radio channel and its the only thing on and if I turn it to the Christian channel, there's a 'hacking preacher' on at that time and I can't - just can't, listen to that. And besides, I don't mind, I kind of like it!
See, I grew up around cars and I picked up some things and well, God didn't give me five boys for nothing, ya know? It helps me stay in the know so I can always have something to tell them about! You know- "hey, did you hear about the new features on the new...?"(That way I always look super smart and super cool! ;)
For the record, it was me who taught the boys; "no, that's a Camaro", "ewww, would you look at that Jag", "that's like a 60 something model" etc. ..and I was able to tell them some things under the hood like; "that's the radiator", "that's the distributor", "that's the battery and if your car won't start you always need to check these first to make sure you have a good connection", etc. You know, all that geek stuff!
Ok, back off the rabbit trail-- On this program he was talking about being in Germany. He had made friends with some fellows there as they were all involved in the latest in auto-motives. He said these Germans were going to come here for a visit to learn things and had invited him back, etc.
I was listening thinking- what a small world we live in now! Isn't it something how we can get along with the Germans, the French, the Brits, etc? Everyone seems to have the capacity to get along and share and glean from one another---except that Ahmadinejad! Why does there have to be one big bad rotten apple? He spoils it all! (Not that he really is the only one- just making a point- keep reading...:)
It only takes ONE-
One person to cause unrest. One person to break the peace. One person to start a war. One person to disrupt a class. One person to cause a commotion in a store. One person- ONE- to disrupt the harmony in a home!
One child can do this, just ONE.
I have seen first hand how one child, with a bad attitude, can ruin everything for everyone in a home. You know how this works- Dad wants to take everyone to the park, everyone gets excited- then one kid- just ONE, says those magic naughty words "I don't want to". Mom makes a new dish at supper and she's worked real hard (and she has the flour on her dress to prove it) and everyone is excited about this new dish and eats it up and is happy and excited and then one-just ONE, says those magic words "I don't like it". One child encourages everyone to play a game. All the kids are excited and gathering things together to play and then one-just ONE, says those magic words "I don't like this game".
My dd and I like to watch the old 'I Love Lucy' shows from time to time. Last night we watched one where Lucy was pregnant and Ricky was so excited and making on over the baby and trying to take care of Lucy....then Lucy (being Lucy) turns on a dime and says "he doesn't love me, he only loves the baby''. So poor Ricky bends over backwards to assure her of his love for her; takes her to dinner and dancing, etc. Then Lucy (being Lucy) starts that famous 'aaaaah' cry of hers and when asked what's wrong she says 'you haven't mentioned the baby all night'.
As adults, I think we often believe we are above this- but I'm not! How 'bout you?
We have the maturity to feel things but not act on them.
But children-
Children have to be taught this tough lesson. It does not come natural! (I remember being young and dumb and thinking that it would..ha!)
I have found that story books and taking time for 'lessons in life' have been one of the best ways to deal with this. No one is pinpointed at the time and often it is a good opportunity for the Holy Spirit to speak to their heart. It can take away the defensiveness that we can automatically feel and help the child to see "that isn't good is it?"
Storybooks are good for this, but often I have to do a Bible study of my own and even go so far as to print up mini-lessons for these types of things. It is well-worth the trouble!
It needs to be noted too, that often a little slight of this can be over-looked. May I be blunt here and say that it is often one child, often a teenager, who will have just enough of a bad attitude- that the other children will be prone to a grumpiness and grumbling of sorts and not even know why?!?!?
As mothers, we have to stay on guard and 'nip it' as Barney Fife says. We often have to make mental notes to ourselves to stay on top of a certain behavior so our busyness doesn't side track us. It is hard work.
There are times when we may have to ask our husbands how to deal with certain things because we may not know exactly how to correct a behavior. Sometimes it is as simple as "don't act like that'' or "you are not allowed to be grumpy for no reason"; but other times it may be something a mother feels and senses but may not be so obvious.
Do ask, do seek, do act, do something! :-)
We can correct the outside but sometimes we must beg for God to deal with their hearts!
He can also give us wisdom and guidance on how to reach their hearts.
One bad apple-
Hmmm- let's work to get those bad spots out! :-)
Showing posts with label sons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sons. Show all posts
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Forgiveness vs. Consequences...
Newton said, "To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction".
I think this is a good rule to apply to children. My DH used to often say, 'let the punishment fit the crime'.
1John 1:9 tells us that if we confess our sins that He is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. I think this is a good principle to follow as parents. If they confess, we can forgive. However, we can't cleanse them, not their hearts. We can't see repentance in their heart, therefore we have to examine their fruits; Luke 3:8 Bring forth therefore fruits worthy of repentance/Mat 7:20 Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.
We also have to follow the principles of Prov 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go. Yes, even if they don't want to hear it. For them to protest on any level when dealing with correction, is still rebellion. 1 Pet 5:5 Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. We must insist that they obey this principle because if they will not submit to us, how could we ever expect that they would submit to God?
Suffice it to say, we can forgive while still enforcing a consequence.
Prov 20:30 The blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil: so do stripes the inward parts of the belly.
That verse supports some pretty strong consequences! Now for safety's sake- we live in a day and age when you have to be very careful how and where you discipline a child- that said, consequences to bad behavior still must be enforced. For example, if you have told your child, "if you do that again, then I'm gonna...." -you best make sure that if they do THAT again that you enforce that 'gonna'! Don't threaten- take action!
Let me illustrate a little more.
If Mr. and Mrs. Jones gives little teenage Johnny a cell phone for Christmas with a set of rules such as:
-if you ever sneak and use this at night you will lose the phone for 30 days
-if you ever do anything naughty on the phone you will lose it for good.
Then 7 months later, Mrs. Jones gets up at midnight and hears Johnny talking in his room and discovers that he his on his beloved cell phone, then she is wise if she immediately makes good on her promise. Can she forgive him and love him? Yes, certainly but she'd better keep her word or she will take away from her authority in the child's eyes.
Well, 18 months later let's say that Johnny's parents discovers that he has an inappropriate picture on his phone that one of his friends have sent. Well, the parents are still under a contract with the phone! Not to mention little Johnny has football practice and sometimes needs to call them when its time to pick him up. The price of keeping your 'authoritative position' with a child is worth more than the contract will cost on the phone, don't you think?
You see, there must be consequences.
Why? Because God has them too and they are pretty steep!
We are training them to obey Him and understand that His consequences are very real too and He does FOREVER keep His Word.
May God help us to be faithful and press on!
I think this is a good rule to apply to children. My DH used to often say, 'let the punishment fit the crime'.
1John 1:9 tells us that if we confess our sins that He is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. I think this is a good principle to follow as parents. If they confess, we can forgive. However, we can't cleanse them, not their hearts. We can't see repentance in their heart, therefore we have to examine their fruits; Luke 3:8 Bring forth therefore fruits worthy of repentance/Mat 7:20 Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.
We also have to follow the principles of Prov 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go. Yes, even if they don't want to hear it. For them to protest on any level when dealing with correction, is still rebellion. 1 Pet 5:5 Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. We must insist that they obey this principle because if they will not submit to us, how could we ever expect that they would submit to God?
Suffice it to say, we can forgive while still enforcing a consequence.
Prov 20:30 The blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil: so do stripes the inward parts of the belly.
That verse supports some pretty strong consequences! Now for safety's sake- we live in a day and age when you have to be very careful how and where you discipline a child- that said, consequences to bad behavior still must be enforced. For example, if you have told your child, "if you do that again, then I'm gonna...." -you best make sure that if they do THAT again that you enforce that 'gonna'! Don't threaten- take action!
Let me illustrate a little more.
If Mr. and Mrs. Jones gives little teenage Johnny a cell phone for Christmas with a set of rules such as:
-if you ever sneak and use this at night you will lose the phone for 30 days
-if you ever do anything naughty on the phone you will lose it for good.
Then 7 months later, Mrs. Jones gets up at midnight and hears Johnny talking in his room and discovers that he his on his beloved cell phone, then she is wise if she immediately makes good on her promise. Can she forgive him and love him? Yes, certainly but she'd better keep her word or she will take away from her authority in the child's eyes.
Well, 18 months later let's say that Johnny's parents discovers that he has an inappropriate picture on his phone that one of his friends have sent. Well, the parents are still under a contract with the phone! Not to mention little Johnny has football practice and sometimes needs to call them when its time to pick him up. The price of keeping your 'authoritative position' with a child is worth more than the contract will cost on the phone, don't you think?
You see, there must be consequences.
Why? Because God has them too and they are pretty steep!
We are training them to obey Him and understand that His consequences are very real too and He does FOREVER keep His Word.
May God help us to be faithful and press on!
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Think It Not Strange....
When children suffer from nightmares, any loving parent will do their best to comfort them.
When a child repeatedly gets into trouble, and gets caught multiple times, any loving parent would deal with this disobedience.
But-
think it not strange, when these things happen over and over.
I heard a preacher deal with this many years ago, and now, with 6 children of my own, I've seen it first hand.
A child who gets up repeatedly asking questions about sin, death, and hell- is often under conviction. The Holy Spirit is drawing him to come to our Lord. That is a GOOD thing! However, easily missed and dismissed by a parent who wants to sincerely offer comfort. Comfort is a good thing but false comfort can be given. A parent once told me that they regretted the way they dealt with one of their children when he was younger. The parent said the child was afraid of hell for several nights and the parent told them that God wouldn't send a little boy to hell. The parent said they regretted not telling that child how to be saved that night and waiting til the child was in his teens to do so.
A teen who repeatedly gets "caught" in his troubles is a GOOD thing! How so? Well, it means that God has their number. The same parent above said they found great comfort during their child's teen years because it seemed the child got "caught" every single time they did something wrong. They said they knew that God was hearing their prayers and protecting their child. Now certainly it is no time to rest, when a child is acting up; but there's GREAT comfort in knowing that their heavenly Father is not letting them by and His all-seeing eyes are upon them.
2 Chr 16:9 For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him.
When a child repeatedly gets into trouble, and gets caught multiple times, any loving parent would deal with this disobedience.
But-
think it not strange, when these things happen over and over.
I heard a preacher deal with this many years ago, and now, with 6 children of my own, I've seen it first hand.
A child who gets up repeatedly asking questions about sin, death, and hell- is often under conviction. The Holy Spirit is drawing him to come to our Lord. That is a GOOD thing! However, easily missed and dismissed by a parent who wants to sincerely offer comfort. Comfort is a good thing but false comfort can be given. A parent once told me that they regretted the way they dealt with one of their children when he was younger. The parent said the child was afraid of hell for several nights and the parent told them that God wouldn't send a little boy to hell. The parent said they regretted not telling that child how to be saved that night and waiting til the child was in his teens to do so.
A teen who repeatedly gets "caught" in his troubles is a GOOD thing! How so? Well, it means that God has their number. The same parent above said they found great comfort during their child's teen years because it seemed the child got "caught" every single time they did something wrong. They said they knew that God was hearing their prayers and protecting their child. Now certainly it is no time to rest, when a child is acting up; but there's GREAT comfort in knowing that their heavenly Father is not letting them by and His all-seeing eyes are upon them.
2 Chr 16:9 For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Modesty for boys??? Yes, and girls too..
I know people have a lot of thoughts about modesty.
Would you believe that some think if you have a 2 piece bathing suit on that you are decent?
Others think if a woman's cleavage isn't showing that nothing else matters.
And almost everyone would say that modesty is just for girls!
Well, I have say LET'S SEE WHAT GOD SAYS!
Do you really want to know?? Okay, I promise you this, YOU WILL BE SHOCKED!
I think most know these verses:
1 Tim 2:9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1 Tim 2:10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.
Now hang on, I'm gonna get to the boys! (..and sooo much more!)
Isa 47:2 .... uncover thy locks, make bare the leg, uncover the thigh, pass over the rivers.
Isa 47:3 Thy nakedness shall be uncovered, yea, thy shame shall be seen:
This verse clearly teaches that "making the leg bare" and "uncover(ing) the thigh" is nakedness.And this was referring to a group of people so I don't believe that its gender specific!
But this verse has led me to take a more modest approach at raising my boys. Just taking that verse at word only, has led me to attempt to lead the boys in such a manner of dress so as to cover their thighs. (And yes, even more so my daughter!)
But the other things that I've encouraged them to do, I don't have specific Scriptures to support. They are things that I've shared with them and made decisions based on conclusions that we came to. The older they get, the deeper the discussions and the more I've encouraged them to make decisions according to knowledge. Knowledge of what? Well, what the Bible says, what modesty is and is not, and we get into conversations about what girls think and say and yes, we base some of our decisions on that.
Are there details and specifics? Yes, but again, I can't directly support some of those by verses from the Bible, they are our personal decisions and therefore, I won't go further into them here.
But here is one more verse that also supports this as well as the FACT that "breeches" were for males:
Exo 28:42 And thou shalt make them linen breeches to cover their nakedness; from the loins even unto the thighs they shall reach:
Exo 28:43 And they shall be upon Aaron, and upon his sons...
Would you believe that some think if you have a 2 piece bathing suit on that you are decent?
Others think if a woman's cleavage isn't showing that nothing else matters.
And almost everyone would say that modesty is just for girls!
Well, I have say LET'S SEE WHAT GOD SAYS!
Do you really want to know?? Okay, I promise you this, YOU WILL BE SHOCKED!
I think most know these verses:
1 Tim 2:9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1 Tim 2:10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.
Now hang on, I'm gonna get to the boys! (..and sooo much more!)
Isa 47:2 .... uncover thy locks, make bare the leg, uncover the thigh, pass over the rivers.
Isa 47:3 Thy nakedness shall be uncovered, yea, thy shame shall be seen:
This verse clearly teaches that "making the leg bare" and "uncover(ing) the thigh" is nakedness.And this was referring to a group of people so I don't believe that its gender specific!
But this verse has led me to take a more modest approach at raising my boys. Just taking that verse at word only, has led me to attempt to lead the boys in such a manner of dress so as to cover their thighs. (And yes, even more so my daughter!)
But the other things that I've encouraged them to do, I don't have specific Scriptures to support. They are things that I've shared with them and made decisions based on conclusions that we came to. The older they get, the deeper the discussions and the more I've encouraged them to make decisions according to knowledge. Knowledge of what? Well, what the Bible says, what modesty is and is not, and we get into conversations about what girls think and say and yes, we base some of our decisions on that.
Are there details and specifics? Yes, but again, I can't directly support some of those by verses from the Bible, they are our personal decisions and therefore, I won't go further into them here.
But here is one more verse that also supports this as well as the FACT that "breeches" were for males:
Exo 28:42 And thou shalt make them linen breeches to cover their nakedness; from the loins even unto the thighs they shall reach:
Exo 28:43 And they shall be upon Aaron, and upon his sons...
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